Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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