we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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