Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
