so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
nutella sex= disaster
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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