My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
