2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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