i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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