so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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