i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize