Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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