If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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