i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
