have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
zippers are such a cool invention
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
