I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize