my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
