you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
