what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
