I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
