My girlfriend figured out who you are.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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