girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
