So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
id be glad to
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
