so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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