You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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