Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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