good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
