i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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