i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
