Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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