She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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