no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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