I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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