I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
