STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
