my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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