thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Come share oat with me in your robe
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize