the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
