the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
