I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
