ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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