I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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