I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Your cock deserves a montage
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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