Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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