You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
