You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
