Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
