so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i came on her dog
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
