i was born a porn star she said
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
