How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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