so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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