while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
