we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
