i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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