girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
