the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I need water and some morals
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
