Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize
