Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
