Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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