its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
