**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
