Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize