You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
