Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
